That must be some two months back. Including myself there was another friend with me having some casual talk with one of our boss and two of the senior colleagues. It simply started with the issue of marriage and women’s nature. When they started talking about the importance of adopting foreign land as a workplace, I objected and said, “It’s only for those who care more about money than their real responsibility towards their society and family.”
Despite agreeing to the fact they said that it was the society that has been forcing especially male members to earn high amount. Thus amidst such pressure, especially from female members of the family and the society, men are even forced to get into the world of bribery leave alone choosing foreign land as their workplace. I again opposed their version saying, “No, not at all. At least those from our generation can never be a part of that society or part of that female circle who influence men for taking bribe or pressuring them to go to foreign land in order to earn high amount to fulfill materialistic desires of their women.” But they had enough justifiable and logical points to get strong hold on their claim. One of the three with whom healthy discussion was going on said that his wife was educated enough but still some of pressures do come through her. “Sometimes knowingly and some times unknowingly,” he said. Even though she doesn’t demand for jewelry or some nice Sari she often talks about her near and dear ones wearing or buying such stuffs frequently. She often talks about the frequent visit to the star hotel by her sisters and relatives, though she never demands directly. But she confesses that she too likes enjoying such materialistic pleasure despite her husband’s in-affordability, he said adding, “These things give us moral pressure from among three of the men,” boss said that girls always look for the property of men instead of looking about his capability and education. “This proves girls still don’t have realized their self dependency,” he had said. 
“Though they talk about their rights and self identity they themselves have failed proving it,” another of our colleague had said. With this small casual talk what I have learnt is that girls and women need to abandoned the habit of demanding their necessity from their husband or other male members like, brother, father or even boyfriend. We should stop relying upon their earnings if we want to prove our self-identity and existence. “At least we, who earn on our own, on whom parents, have spent enough. We should start thinking that we are not among them who force men to get into the world of bribery. Let’s teach them (those male who think that women always make huge demand on their husbands) young girls have different perception. Let’s speak out loud that we don’t belong to that group who still believes in patriarchal structure of the society. Let’s prove that it’s not the women forcing men to earn high amount and compelling them to leave the motherland despite their unwillingness. Let’s be ready to say that we need a perfect man as a life partner, not the one covered with parental property or paralyzed with the same. Not the one who earns through illegal channel. We too are ready to shoulder our responsibility with men. We believe in equality not in dependency. Let’s initiate the change.”
– Sangeeta Rijal
