I am not a great fan of the red color festival, Teej. Neither do I find the idea of remaining hungry without a drop of water on hot humid conditions in the least interesting. The only thing I liked about this festival was the get together of the women clad in red. A rare sight as the females in our society very seldom set aside time for themselves. But this year this aspect of the festival too failed to raise my spirits as an unhappy incident occurred.
It’s the look on my great aunt's face on the day of the fasting. She too was fasting on that day. Despite her old age she did not put a grain on her mouth. I have not always been on the best of terms with her. She believes not only in preserving all the traditions but following it blindfold. She is someone who is proud of her cast and judges people by it. She will not allow people of lesser cast into her kitchen, let alone eat food prepaid by them. I have always seen her nod her head in disagreement and open her mouth to complain about the lifestyle we have preferred.
I had thought see enjoyed Teej as much as the women next door as I have seen her dance and sing along with other women during Teej year in and year out. What got my attention this year was the yearning in her eyes as she looked at the ladies clad in red sari. Needless to explain that she is a widow, has always been as far as I am concerned. As I have never seen her in red.
That gloomy look on her eyes that day is the memory I am talking about. I had never thought she would crave for that particular color. Had it been anyone else I certainly would not have been surprised but not her because of her love for the tradition and her reluctance to change it even for better.

The knowledge that this great aunt of mine even in her early eighties secretly yearns for a red sari but is afraid to say it aloud will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Given that their age is similar and its definitely not a case of love affair and yet a post graduate lady and a high school passed man make a ideal pair! Want to know the full story? Let me begin with Nepalese in Dehradun. The Gorkhali society here accepts well-educated brides for not-so-well educated grooms as easily as it welcomes the oppositely matched couples. "Seeing my well paid job she married me," gushes out Arbind Thapa, 40, kidding to his wife.
Thapa was 35 year old and had passed 12th standard when he married 25-year-old , Meena Sharma, a post graduate in commerce. Then he was an ordinary jobholder. He loved fishing, drinking and hanging out with his peers and so marriage was the last thing on his mind. But his elders would not let him miss the greatest experience of life and so marriage proposals flooded to him. And what a time he had choosing his other half, as all the girls were either graduate or postgraduate.
But high education makes no difference, says Thapa, because, "even educated wives can look after their husband and children well!"
Amazing factor here is Meena's acceptation of a less qualified husband in an arrange marriage " My parents chose him and I had no problem," the wife replies coolly. "Here you can get many couples like us- wife more educated than the husband. If a man has a decent job, and is from a good family he doesn’t have to sweat to get a wife," she adds with a hearty smile.
Dhiren Ale who never went to school after failing in 10th standard also tied the nuptial knot with a postgraduate female 3 years ago. Their marriage too was fixed by the family and in this case too the guy had no problem getting a better qualified wife. " Our family knew each other very well and I had no objection when my parents wanted her as their daughter in law.
"Sabita, Ale’s wife had no problem either. "He had a small business of his own, his family ia well known among the Gorkhalis and above all, my parents desired for this relationship," recounts the happy wife.
The case is common in Dheradun. What could be the cause behind these interesting matches while the society is but again just male dominated? Scarcity of males/ educated males, among Gorkhalis? Pressure of dowry system or ???? All of the approached candidates denied dowry system being the crucial cause behind such matches. "Though dowry system exists here, the Gorkhali community is not too much bothered by it," they maintain. About the first speculation too, there is no official data available as to be confirmed over the aspect however.
And a retired teacher, a well known Gorkhali here, Shiva Upadhya reacts, "It certainly may not be that Gorkhali males are slow learners or dull students compared to their counterparts."
"Well, but the issue is interesting, and yes, in my own circle also there are many wives highly educated than their husbands," he says merrily. After a pause he however puts up his viewpoint, "One of the reasons of the boys’ low education might be the their fondness towards joining army. From their very small age they dream to get into army and focus more on physical fitness rather than concentration on studies. And in earlier days, for Gorkhalis, it was easier too. Now there’s tuff competition even for our boys – however, they are still regarded as the brave caste!"
Upadhya adds on to his explanation, "The boys who fail to join the army never continue with their studies but look for any kind of job for instant earnings. On the other hand, the girls coolly go on with their education and get ahead of the boys.
"Well, anything might have caused so but a confirmed thing is- if you are a male from a good family, with a nice job and desperately want a highly educated partner despite your unimpressive academic qualification your destination shall be nowhere than Dheradun!
(Anjali was with the kathmandu post until she got married in Deharadun)

Wednesday (19 April 2006): It was the day when three martyrs sacrificed their life for the sake of country’s prosperous future.
Since there was curfew imposed by the autocratic royal regime from 2:00am inside the ring road that encircles the Kathmandu Valley, there was no way for me to go to office. Besides media houses, ambulances and human rights activists were not issued curfew passes.
As it was impossible for my other office members to go for reporting, it was my moral to cover the incident going around Kalanki, the western part of the Valley, though I was not expected to do so.
Parking my scooter at Naikap, at my friend's place for safety, I walked all the way to Kalanki, where, I was greeted by a huge pass. Since there were no human rights activists, reporters and photojournalists, royal puppets seemed more aggressive without any reasons.
The masses of about 200,000 coming from western suburbs of the valley were protesting peacefully and they hadn’t tried to go beyond the security lane. Since they had already defied curfew they did not had to intervene security forces which had just been observing the peaceful demonstration.
One of the leaders said that they would try to go further only after 2:00pm. But some vigilante pulled people who were sitting in the straight row in the peaceful manner. Neither the mass had stoned the security personals nor had they tried to push the security lane. But the security force led by SSP Durje Kumar Rai suddenly charged on people. After latthi charge they fired rounds of tear gas and robber bullets indiscriminately.
Despite being a journalist I was threatened and chased away from the site. I was along with protestors towards down side of the highway. And I could see police beating people to death. They were charging people entering into the private houses. That was when I could not refrain myself from shouting at the security force.
I made a loud sound and shouted at security personals, with the hope that they would leave the person. At least a dozen of security personals were brutally beating a single demonstrator. But I had no jacket (indicating press), which could have at least made them think twice before making him unconscious.
Since I had no jacket written press I was threatened, I could have been shot anytime for trying to reach to the road. I went further ahead showing my ID. Despite seeing the ID they verbally abused me. They were ready to charge on me saying “If u are a journalist why did you ran away?” I need not think it necessary to give explanation since it was the same force that had chased me out of site earlier.
But I dared come up. And when I moved a little ahead, I could see many photojournalists including foreigners. Slowly started seeing reporters as well. I gained courage as I saw some known faces. But for yet another time Durje Kumar ordered us (me, photojournalists of Himalayan times, samaya, kantipur among few other reporters) remain beyond the sight. He threatened journalist not to take photographs.
The mass had already scattered. Soon after a white helicopter took round the area SSP hiding him behind a petrol pump shot people with his pistol leaving at least one spot death. Quite a number of people had received bullet injuries and a large number including children and women were unconscious due to excessive latthi.
But there were not yet any ambulances and rights defenders to rescue people from the pool of blood. After people started collapsing on the spot Rai ran away from the battlefield making other inspectors control the force.
Slowly ambulance and rights defenders started emerging around the site. One body was lying aside me. Police was not giving the body to the rights defenders. But the rights defenders requested to take the body claim chances of survival provided proper treatment. He had received bullet in his chest. About 100 meter ahead there was another body being carried in white cotton.
Ambulances continued carrying injured for about an hour.
Young boys were so aggressive that they started stoning at security personals. Nawaraj Poudel, one of the protestors was challenging security to shoot at his chest. “We general people are nothing for you all. Kill every one of us,” Poudel with his eyes full of tears was challenging police.
Protestors urged security to hand over the dead bodies, which they had hidden. They were saying that beating killed some of the protestors and the security personnel hid them. Which included a child and a mother. Ambulances carrying both dead bodies and injured people were still seen around.
My biggest concern now is should Durja Kumar Rai, the cause of the death of at least three people roam around freely? Shouldn’t he be punished for his brutal act?
Dear all, who love this country and has respect towards our brave martyrs, I request all of you to react on his brutal and inhuman act so that we can take action against him after we achieve full democracy with our new constitution. LONG LIVE OUR MARTYRS !!